Recently in Humor Category

By way of "They Gave Us a Republic......"

How to cut a turkey the Republican way: give 1% of your guests 99% of the meat.

Celebrate Thanksgiving the American way: spend money you don't have on Chinese products.

Here's a Thanksgiving diet tip: this year, don't eat like such a fucking pig.

Rick Perry says as President he would pardon a turkey on Thanksgiving and execute an innocent man instead.

BREAKING: US to Deploy Walmart Shoppers in Afghanistan.

The NBA deal is an inspiring story of millionaires finding common ground with billionaires.

BREAKING: FDA Declares Rick Perry a Vegetable.

As Egyptians risk their lives for new government, Americans bravely do the same for new flat screens.

My immigration proposal: we let illegal immigrants stay here but Mexico has to take our presidential candidates.

Besides pepper-spraying protesters and not arresting football coaches, what exactly do campus police do?

China may lead us in math and science, but we are way ahead of them in shitty vampire movies.

Well, you know the rest:


Have a safe and wonderful Thanksgiving. And keep an eye on the sky.

Two minutes and fifteen seconds I will never get back. Thanks Mr. Levenson.

And no, I am not going to imbed it and make you suffer the horror I suffered this morning. Go to Balloon Juice and suffer there.

Or for those of you with virgin ears



Hat Tip: Blue Girl over at They gave us a republic.

Hat Tip to skippy for this very damn funny, and probably completely inappropriate youtube:

I have to admit, Stephen Colbert has a great New Wisconsin accent.


Thanks to C&L for the heads up.

Posted without comment except for a hat tip to Ellroon over at "Rants From The Rookery."

Nothing says "mourning" like two Italian widows!

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No, it is not going to be a regular feature; that would be too damn much work. But still, remember "Badger, badger, badger, badger, Mushroom (SNAKE!)"

It just blows my mind that in the 21st Century, in the United States, it is necessary to remove one's shoes to enter an airplane. I mean, how pathetic is that?

Look, I am poor. I do not travel by plane. But if I did, I would make damn sure I wore the sweatiest, stinkiest, nastiest socks possible. In fact, along with National Don't Go Through The Scanners day, I suggest a National Wear Dirty, Nasty, Stinky Socks to the airport day. Oh, and make sure the shoes you take off are the ones you used to clean the barn with just hours earlier. Preferably the hog barn. They stink the worst. I know what I speak of. Personal experience from my younger days.

Now, if you don't clean a barn, there's always stepping in doggy doo. If you don't have a dog, I am sure your neighbors do. No doubt they'd let you walk through their yard before you depart to the airport. Just make sure you step on every doo you come across. And don't scrape it off.

If you have a cat, well, then you have a litter box. Like I need to explain that further?

Seriously, let's get some civil disobedience going. Walk your doggy doo to the airport! It will be fun.

From BBWW: How Plebe Are You?

1. Can you talk about "Mad Men?" Of course. I just wouldn't know what I was talking about, having never watched it.

2. Can you talk about the "The Sopranos?" See above

3. Do you know who replaced Bob Barker on "The Price Is Right?" Actually, yeah, I do. But I won't tell you. Go find out for yourself.

4. Have you watched an Oprah show from beginning to end? If I did, I wouldn't be alive to tell you.

5. Can you hold forth animatedly about yoga? Only if I wanted to, and I don't want to.

5. How about pilates? Seriously, why does everyone insist on misspelling pirates?

5. How about skiing? Must I?

6. Mountain biking? Mountains bike?

7. Do you know who Jimmie Johnson is? Wrong question. It's "who would want to know who Jimmie Johnson is?"

8. Does the acronym MMA mean nothing to you? Damn right. And proud of it.

9. Can you talk about books endlessly? Oh hell yeah!

10. Have you ever read a "Left Behind" novel? No, I left it behind at the recycling center.

11. How about a Harlequin romance? Not from cover to cover. Just a few select paragraphs. Or a full chapter in one book. Seriously, if I could have sex as long as the main characters did in that chapter, I could die contented.

12. Do you take interesting vacations? Why would anyone take uninteresting vacations?

13. Do you know a great backpacking spot in the Sierra Nevada? No. But I am sure I could talk like I know a great backpacking spot in the Sierra Nevada.

14. What about an exquisite B&B overlooking Boothbay Harbor? Isn't "exquisite B&B" an oxymoron?

15. Would you be caught dead in an RV? I was. Funeral was last week.

16. Would you be caught dead on a cruise ship? That funeral is next week.

17. Have you ever heard of Branson, Mo? Well, duh! Right when you asked the question.

18. Have you ever attended a meeting of a Kiwanis Club? I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you. Oh, wait. That's Kiwanis Club. Sorry, my bad.

19. How about the Rotary Club? Seriously, why must you ask such a rude question?

20. Have you lived for at least a year in a small town? Several decades, actually.

21. Have you lived for a year in an urban neighborhood in which most of your neighbors did not have college degrees? Only when they were at work and I was at home.

22. Have you spent at least a year with a family income less than twice the poverty line? Most of my life.

23. Do you have a close friend who is an evangelical Christian? Do evangelical Christians really exist? I thought they were characters in scary stories told around campfires.

24. Have you ever visited a factory floor? No.

25. Have you worked on one? No. Two of them.

Man, here is an old flash video that popped into my head today.