I suppose I could have mentioned back on Saturday that I was on vacation. Hence my ability to go on a 49 mile bike ride in the middle of the day yesterday. To be honest, I have had a great vacation so far. Nothing dramatic. No hiking the Rockies. No boating on the Mediterranean. Instead, I spent 3 days with Norene down in Rochester, watching movies, going to some friends' home for game night (kicked butt in the Angry Birds card game, we did!) went fishing, and just had a nice, relaxing time.
Now, of course, I am still on vacation, but it is the staycation part of my vacation. I have some house cleaning to do today, but nothing major. Just some vacuuming, mopping, and a little repair work. Thankfully I finished laundry earlier in the week, so I am set for more rest and relaxation. Though, to be honest, taking the bike down to Hastings tomorrow or Saturday to hit the bluff trails sounds rather enticing.
That I was brought into this world. My condolenses to the rest of you.
Yes, I know, it's been nothing but posts about "The Tour De Rook." Sorry about that. But, quite frankly, posting about politics is depressing. That, and there are others much better at commenting on the current political circus. Also, there are other personal issues I am just not in the mood to disclose at the moment. I am in an introspective phase, trying to learn more about myself and what I think, how I feel, and what the hell am I going to do with myself.
No, I am not going through some mid-life crisis. Seriously. Why are you even contemplating that?
It is that, after having left a relationship of 14 years, I find myself facing life with different goals and plans. It has been a radical adjustment for me. I really have not lived alone for most of my life. I was either in the Navy, or in long-term relationships. This last year has been an experience, let me tell you. I have been living alone, being responsible for only a cat and myself.
I am not lonely, if that is what you are thinking. I have friends, I go out and do things (beyond The Tour), and I enjoy life. However, learning that I can stand my own company, that I do not need to constantly be around others, is a new experience for me. Early in my recovery from drugs and alcohol, I did not particularly like myself. Hell, I probably did not even love myself (you, in the back row, with the smutty grin, keep it to yourself or so help me I will......).
Now, though, I am enjoying my life. Granted, I live in an efficiency apartment with a small bathroom and a kitchenette that does not really allow for cooking, Cinnamon is feeling caged in because of the lack of space, and I am just making ends meet. Yet I am enjoying my life.
Granted, there will probably not be much more in the way of posts after this, besides Tour De Rook updates, which are more for me to have a record of my exercise than about informing others. But I just wanted you all (what? all one of you? My stats are back to early blogging levels) to know that I am doing fine and perhaps one of these days I will return to commenting on the insanity that is our country's political discourse.
Now, if you will all excuse me, I am going to go back to living my life. Try not to wreck the place while I am busy.
Sigh. My car died last night. It gallantly started after the Dome-Collapsing-Storm-Of-The-Decade had come and gone. I even drove it for most of yesterday. But then, as I was making my way to meet up with some friends, she decided to die; about a mile and a half down the road from home. Thankfully a stranger saw my hazards, turned around, and picked me up. Turns out he lives in the same apartment complex as me.
So, this morning I made arrangements for her to be towed to the clinic, The Auto Doctors. Unfortunately, she can not get an appointment until tomorrow morning. So, I am not going to work tomorrow. I have today off, thankfully, and I have some PTO, so I can afford to lose a day of work. Still, not exactly what I had planned for the next couple of days.
Sigh. Life in a Northern State.
May the time with your family be of joy, love, and happiness. And may your waistline not exceed your button's ability to hold it back.
Yes, it is my birthday today. I would prefer cash to gifts. Unless the gift is the winning lottery numbers.
And as to how old? Old enough to know better than to tell you my age.
They spill their hurt. They spill their rage. They talk about rapes. They talk about beatings. They talk about all the loss, all the disappointments, all the pain. And I sit there, showing only empathy. Then I watch a movie, and how one man helps another heal himself, and I cry, like I dare not cry in group.
It is just a damn, movie. But it is a damn good movie.
This morning, as I did my warm-up stretch at Freedom Park in Prescott, overlooking the confluence of the Mississippi and St. Croix rivers, I heard the song of a Cardinal. He was in the upper most branch of the tree next to me. I looked at him, he looked at me, and then we went about our perspective actions. After I was done stretching, and riding away on my bike, I saw him fly off to another tree.
Later, after about 40 minutes of bike riding, I stopped at the side of a gravel road, in front of "The Rustic Garden" and along side a hay field. I was rewarded with a sea of yellow butterflies all lazily flapping themselves from bloom to bloom in the hay field.
At the end of my bike ride, I felt refreshed and invigorated, despite my having pushed myself to my best performance to date on Le Tour de Rook.
I go through life feeling strong, secure, and loved. Then, there are
times where the energy gets sucked right out of me. I then hide, cover
my head, curl up and wish the world away. It last but a moment in the
total of time, yet can seem to drag forever in my mind. I know not what
to do to fight this malaise. And then, without rhyme or reason, I find
myself back to feeling strong, secure, and loved.
I sure could use a rudder to navigate my emotional storms.
As of today, a quarter of a century without drugs or alcohol. I am assigned my own firetruck because I am so dry I am a fire hazard.
I believe I have found the reason for my lack of posting; political blogging is just like my job of counseling addicts. You see, I have to spend much of my job pointing out the lies, distortions and out right denial of my clients. So, to turn around and point out the lies, distortions, and out right denial of the political spectrum is old and tiring.
For what it is worth, I am not all that up on the 'New Year' concept. Why? Well, for one thing, it is a man made concept that really does not have any organic origin. In fact, though not arbitrarily chosen, it was placed merely for the benefit of one religion establishing credibility over other existing customs. At least, that is how I see it.
Perchance I am wrong. Don't really care.
Today is no different than yesterday. The sun has risen, will travel across the sky, and set. Barring unforeseen occurrences, my lungs will continue to breath the air; my heart will continue to beat and pump blood through my veins. Most importantly, my five senses will continue to receive the energy of the moment, if my mind does not get in the way.
That, of course, is my major problem; my mind's thinking blocking the energy of the moment with forays into the hardly ever properly recalled past or the always wrong prophetic musings about the future.
I think I need to go meditate.